Worrying is like a Ferris wheel: you go around without really getting anywhere

April 16, 2010 in Life,Philosophy

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As my departure date inches closer (countdown: three days left in the States), I seem to be hearing the same question over and over again: Are you nervous?

Well…no. I’m moving to a beautiful beach for six months. The sun will be shining and I will be tan, without breaking my “no tanning bed” resolution for 2010. I’ll be able to eat une crêpe au Nutella et bananes as my serving of fruit for the day. The Mediterranean will be mere footsteps from my window.

True, I have no idea what’s in store for me. I could fail miserably at finding a job, maintaining a blog, becoming fluent in French. I might blow through my savings and not make any friends. It’s possible–maybe even probable–that my dream could end up as a nightmare. Believe me, I can give you plenty of reasons of why I should be nervous.

But why dwell on that? Maybe it’s a defense mechanism, but I choose to focus on everything that can go right instead of everything that can go wrong. To me, fixating on that fear is what keeps people from traveling, from taking risks, from following their dreams. Fear paralyzes people, while routine comforts them.

Instead, I prefer to be motivated by a quote from The Four-Hour Work Week:
“There was practically no risk, only huge life-changing upside potential, and I could resume my previous course without any more effort that I was already putting forth.”

Yes, it’s normal to be scared. But in our society, “normal” is also a wedding weeks after college graduation, 2.5 crying and pooping bundles of joy, a cubicle from 8 to 5, a job that inspires you only to live for the weekend. I’ve never wanted to be normal. I’ve never wanted to waste my time worrying when I could be busy living. Side note: I have plenty of friends who are married, pregnant, working in a great job and I totally respect their life choice. But while I’m semi-envious of the love and security they found at a young age, that is just not the life I want right now.

Being nervous about change is a normal part of life. But letting that nervousness, that fear stop you from following your dreams? To me, that just doesn’t seem like a good use of the short time we have on this earth.

What scares you most about traveling or breaking the normal career path? How have you conquered those fears? Or why haven’t you?

Tagged as: Fear, Worrying

  • http://twitter.com/KathC KathC

    What scares me most about doing something different? Being broke and wandering alone in a strange place. Making a huge mistake where I'm sobbing and missing the security of what I have now. You know, the usual. :-) No, I haven't conquered those fears yet (and I'm a bit close to 40, so there's a bit more baggage involved), but slowly I'm trying to realize that sometimes the biggest risks have the biggest payoffs . . .

    Thanks for such a great post!

  • http://www.traveling-savage.com Keith

    I agree with you completely, 100%. My fears are mainly about monetary stability. And it's funny that you quoted that section of the 4HWW – I was just reading that part. In it there's an exercise for thinking about the worst that can happen. Then you realize that you'll almost always be able to recover even in worst-case scenarios.

  • Jenna

    i've conquered those fears by knowing that if i've hit rock bottom, failed miserably, etc, then after that, the only place I can go is up. It's good to do something that scares you. LuLulemon Athletica (yoga clothes) has a motto of 'Do one thing a day that scares you”, and that right there says a lot! I know you're not scared XTREME, or else you never would have earned that nick name 5 years ago!!

  • http://wheremyheartresides.com/ Ashlee

    As we discussed at lunch this week, it is my new mission in life to figure out a way to be successful without being normal. I believe in us. I know you do too. Love this post ;)

  • suzyguese

    Completely agree. Along the same lines of a post I wrote about hesitating to travel, I think it is natural to be nervous about traveling. Maybe it is more of excitement that you don't know what is about to occur. Most people don't understand this. I love when people ask me what I'm doing in Italy this summer. You would think I was headed to the moon by the looks on some faces. Most people decide to have the standard life with kids, husband, etc, all things you mentioned. Few decide to do something that takes a bit more work, which is why I think you and other travelers get that “Aren't you nervous?” question.

  • http://www.solofemaletraveler.com Sabina

    Excellent point. You can choose to be nervous or realize there's no reason to be. I hope you have a fabulous six months!

  • camorose

    Thanks for reading! I definitely understand where you're coming from–I'm very lucky that I don't have much holding me back right now. I'd definitely encourage weighing the risks against the rewards: the rewards almost always outweigh the potential risk!

  • camorose

    Monetary stability is huge for me too–I definitely need to find a reliable source of income once I arrive in France, especially if I want to continue traveling after Nice. However, I always know that I can come home and find a job and save up more if necessary–that's the worst case scenario, and that's certainly not that bad! Thanks for weighing in, and thanks for writing the original lizard brain post :)

  • camorose

    So true! I seriously want to incorporate doing one thing every day that scares me, even if it's just trying a new food. I will definitely try to live up to XTREME while in France :)

  • camorose

    LOVE THAT: successful without being normal. I totally think we both can do it!

  • camorose

    So true! I love it when people ask me if I'm excited–because I am! Being nervous just isn't the first reaction that comes to my mind. I'm so glad that there are other people who think and act like me–and in today's crazy connected world, I've been able to find them! Thanks for stumbling and commenting :)

  • camorose

    Thanks for reading–I certainly hope everything works out for the best as well :)

  • ednacz

    I'd have to say the scariest part of traveling for me is not the loneliness or the money… it's the worry that something will happen to my family at home and I won't be around at a time of need. Being broke and alone can be fixed (eventually), but being thousands of miles away if something serious goes down, well that can't be undone. Might seem a bit like unnecessary worry but that's what scares me most!

  • Holly

    Hi Christine!

    I am in the same boat . . . leaving for 3 months in Paris at the end of the month. I stumbled upon your blog and instantly felt encouraged by your trip. I really feel comfort in knowing that I'm not alone in my pursuit of happiness. That there are many like minded 20 somethings out there doing the same thing… Perhaps we will be in the same part of France at the same time at some point this summer. It would be wonderful to swap stories.

    xoxo
    Holly

  • camorose

    That's actually a big concern of mine too–I have aging grandparents and a very old family dog. It definitely worries me, but at the same time, I figure I can't stay at home my entire life “just in case.” Totally understand that worry though–very valid!

  • camorose

    How exciting! What are you doing in Paris? If our paths cross this summer, it would be great to meet someone else who is doing the same thing! Hope you enjoy reading, thanks for commenting!

  • http://www.twitter.com/graceb123 grace

    I haven't read through all the comments yet but I just want to say THANK YOU for this post. I've bookmarked so I can return to it when I start feeling doubtful. Lately I've been feeling lots of pressure (and I haven't even graduated college yet! One year left) to do what society thinks is normal. Even the idea of moving away from my family after I graduate seems outside what is “right” not to mention the fact that I have a whole list of places I want to travel and my main concern is saving enough money to buy a plane ticket! I already have such varied taste in music and movies from my friends I feel like differentiating myself even more through my lifestyle is too much. Then I just say $#%$!^ it and carry on. :)

  • camorose

    I'm so glad that this post resonated with you! It's always nice to know that other people feel the same way. I remember feeling a huge amount of pressure to get a good job find a nice apartment and stay with my boyfriend after graduating college–and I did that for about six months before realizing that I wouldn't be happy until I followed my own dreams first. I would definitely recommend seeing the world before settling down :)

  • http://twenty-somethingtravel.com Stephanie

    This is so well said! I was terrified the last few days before I moved to London; I didn't know anybody, didn't have a job and only a hostel lined up for the first week. In the end though it was the best decision I ever made. I'm fully anticipating the fear when I leave to go traveling again in September, but I know that the rewards will be so great that a few stressful days won't matter too much.

  • camorose

    I think it all comes down to attitude: you can either choose to be nervous and scared or you can choose to be excited. Ultimately, if you choose to be excited, you're going to have a much more enjoyable experience! I'm just hoping to keep up the positive thinking throughout the first few weeks–those are always the hardest. Thanks for sharing your experience :)

  • lovejennmarie

    This is such an exciting experience. I have to say I am a bit jealous. How did you find a place to stay in Nice? Are you doing a home stay program? I am really intrigued and interested to read about your experience.

  • camorose

    I am doing a homestay through the Alliance Francaise, and so far, I absolutely love it! My host mom is super helpful and it forces me to speak French at home and learn more about French culture. I hope you enjoy the updates from Nice :)

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